Meanwhile I have been exchanging a few messages with waterfall whose initial message to me stimulated me to write the post.
She wrote that
"Whilst i consider my own submission to be given through bravery and strength rather than by fear or capitulation my point is that surely, by its very nature, an M/s relationship is not an equal one?"My reply was,
"I think that for many their submission is given through "strength and bravery". I often say that one has to be strong to be a sub. As you say you have not capitulated through fear. You have a position of strength within the relationship - that strength enabling you to submit to the will and control of another.So can a D/s relationship be a relationship of equals?
Perhaps this does not imply inequality. Rather a relationship of equals where each takes on different roles for the pleasure and fulfilment of the other.
Surely too a sub has a right to certain expectations of their Dom. These might include being respected, cared for, being kept safe, loved even. Perhaps this is a fair exchange for the submission given in return. Can this not still be a relationship of equals? Each benefiting equally from the relationship in different ways?
That is not to say that within the dynamic of the relationship rights and control are freely given by one to the other. However they are given on the expectation of care and a meeting of the submissive needs of the other.
While this may seem an unequal relationship from the outside I believe that it can and in many cases is a relationships of equals. Does it not have to be for it to work properly - for it to be use and not abuse by one of the other?
Or perhaps I am arguing the point too strongly!
I doubt I have persuaded you!!!!"